July 17, 2009
Smithsonian Caption Writing Contest #5: Glass Slipper Fitting Team
Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives
UPDATE: Read which caption won! Comments have been closed on this post, but stay tuned next month for our next photo caption contest.
Any way you slice it, something a bit odd is going on in this image that we pulled from the Smithsonian Archives. Which, of course, means that it must be time for a Around the Mall caption writing contest! Readers, now’s your chance to impress us with your witty captions. And remember, we’re look for laughs, so tell us what might be going on in the picture. Here’s a few to get the ball rolling:
- It was Dr. Jones with the hacksaw in the museum!
- “Cutting my foot off? Do you expect me to talk?” “
“No Mr. Bond, we expect you to die!” - Bunion surgery
Just make sure to enter by Wednesday, August 12. We’ll be revealing the winning caption (along with the true story behind the photograph) that afternoon. A prize? Whatever it is, we’ll call it the Hacksaw Award. So get cracking!
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“We can tell how old this alien is by cutting it in half and counting the rings”
“I’m tellin ya, Wallie, this mannequin’s a half a foot too tall.”
“Hey, Gus, does it make you nervous having all these guys watching over our shoulder?”
“And this intern Phillips is the surest way to get rid of mannequin corns.”
“Dammit, I just don’t like the idea of shopping around for a surgeon!”
“Wanna save hundreds on health insurance?” “The more we trim the less you spend!”
You realize that he’ll be a foot shorter than the other mamnequins after this.
You do realize that this will make him a ‘foot’ shorter than the other mannequins.
Igor, now we won’t have to cut the boot to make it fit
Ignore the camera, you guys! They’ll never come up with a caption that makes any sense!
What in the blazes??!! No matter how much I cut off, this leg is still too short!!
Da Da that is good, no more Mr stinky feet.
DON’T BE A FOOL, YOU FOOL. They’ve got plenty of captions. And they NAME NAMES! Although that No. 8′s kind of a pip.
That’s the worst ingrown toenail I’ve ever seen Doctor!
This was NOT the fairy tale ending everyone had hoped for.
I have been having this itch for a longtime. Can you cut it out for me.
and this is how you keep all the “little piggies” home in the first place. OR a bit drastic for toe fungus… would’nt you say???
“Payback time, eh Goldman?”
This is your down payment for the pending Obamacare
While the bearded lady was no beauty, she was willing to do anything for Cinderella’s slipper to fit her. She had tried to flirt with the soldiers, but they only liked blondes. She took care of that problem, and put her competition in a body bag. The diver had no interest in her and she was getting desperate. Dr. Glade and Dr. Yankee said they would make her look “boot-I-full”. While the bearded lady can no longer stand, she is happy because she got her man!
They wanted to take things one step at a time, but the higher-ups wouldn’t foot the bill, so they were forced to resort of half-measures.
The true origin of that old saw, “toe the line.”
Brevity is the sole of wit, as any dummy can tell you.
“Ok, everybody sing now! ‘The foot bones connected to the, saw bones, the saw bones connected to the ..’
“In this man’s army, soldier, everybody wears the same size!”
That’s one small step for man, one smaller foot for the mannequin.
Budget cutbacks are tough, but this is ridiculous!
Yea, but I don’t think this is what they meant by “Cut the budget!”
This should solve the noxious air problem, Schultz. You can remove your gas mask now, and you and your bride can enjoy the rest of the reception.
Actor, Tom Cruise, and Valkyrie film crew rehearse the creation of the ingenious “foot bomb,” that nearly changed the course of the war.
As long as the boot fits, who’s going to know besides us, and these guys??
“Der Fehurer’s EXACT VORDS, a size 8…A SIZE 8″
Nice work, doctors. Now the general will never put his foot in his mouth again!
That’s what they said. We have to cut a foot off the Napolean mannequin.
The eventual creators of Tinactin hadn’t perfected their formula quite yet.
And remember folks, we’re professionals, so don’t try this at home!
“…because she’s half a foot too tall, that’s why!”
Look bright eyes…all I know is that we’re supposed to shorten this mannequine by a half a foot; something to do with the Tom Cruise piece.
Don’t you think getting a bigger pair of boots would have been easier?
“Stupid mannequins. ‘Nougat filling,’ my ass.”
The Swiss delegation was impressed at the prototype for the new army knife.
“Are you sure that this is the most effective method to cure athletes foot?”
I know some dummies cost an arm and a leg, but this ridiculous.
It’s simple–cut off their feet. Then they CAN’T run!
DR. OTTO “ONCE AGAIN DR. SCHMITT, YOU ARE SUCH A NAMBY PAMBY, IF YOUR GONNA CUT, TAKE OFF MORE, NOT LESS?
DR. SCHMITT: “AT THE UNIVERSITY THEY ALWAYS PREACHED CONSERVATIVE TREATMENT! CONSERVATIVE TREATMENT!!
[...] had to sift through nearly 150 entries for the contest, many of them involving Tom Cruise, foot soldiers or exaggerated German accents, but we’ve [...]