Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

We sifted through over 100 pre-historic entries in this month’s caption contest, ranging from riffs on insufficient food consumption of some type to mother-in-law jokes, but Big Steg finally has a winning caption.

See, look right there. The proof of intelligent design. It’s stamped, “Made in heaven.”

Many thanks to Larry Horrowitz Horowitz for his submission, and enjoy the virtual Smithsonian merit badge.

And as for the real photo caption? This image from the 1950s features a group of Cub Scouts being shown the skeleton of a Stegosaurus in the “Hall of Extinct Monsters” exhibit at the Smithsonian Natural Museum of Natural History. Behind the skeleton of the Stegosaurus looms a papier-mâché model of a Stegosaurus.

Out there in reader-land, let us know what you think:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

Dinosaurs have invaded the caption contest!  So get all Jurassic on this photograph and provide us with your best humorous caption describing what might be going on in the situation.  Here’s a few examples to get things started:

• “Scouts, keep a lookout while I snap off one of these plates as a souvenir.”
• The Scoutmaster had delivered on his promise of an 8-course meal to the Stegosaurus. They were finally even.
• “Any more back talk out of you kids and you’ll wind up inside Mr. Stegosaurus!”

Just make sure to get your entry in before the contest goes extinct ends on October 12.  The winner will receive a virtual merit badge in captioning, along with a sense of satisfaction in knowing that his/her species is still in existence.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

We had to sift through nearly 150 entries for the contest, many of them involving Tom Cruise, foot soldiers or exaggerated German accents, but we’ve finally crowned our winner.

“Stupid mannequins. ‘Nougat filling,’ my a**.”

Kudos to Kevin for his winning submission, which he submitted just a few hours before the deadline.

So what’s actually going on in the picture above? It’s a 1976 photo of an exhibits specialist and a museum curator adjusting mannequins to fit into historic uniforms for display at the National Air and Space Museum. Since the uniforms are historically accurate, they cannot be altered to fit the mannequins; consequently, the mannequins are altered to fit the uniforms.

Out there in reader-land, let us know what you think.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

UPDATE: Read which caption won! Comments have been closed on this post, but stay tuned next month for our next photo caption contest.

Any way you slice it, something a bit odd is going on in this image that we pulled from the Smithsonian Archives. Which, of course, means that it must be time for a Around the Mall caption writing contest! Readers, now’s your chance to impress us with your witty captions. And remember, we’re look for laughs, so tell us what might be going on in the picture. Here’s a few to get the ball rolling:

• It was Dr. Jones with the hacksaw in the museum!
• “Cutting my foot off? Do you expect me to talk?” “
  “No Mr. Bond, we expect you to die!”
• Bunion surgery

Just make sure to enter by Wednesday, August 12. We’ll be revealing the winning caption (along with the true story behind the photograph) that afternoon. A prize? Whatever it is, we’ll call it the Hacksaw Award. So get cracking!

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

So what is the true identity of that tic tac precariously teetering on stilts? A quick glance at its driver’s license reveals it to be a Van de Graaf accelerator. Not too familiar with those? Any childhood memories of placing your hands on those metal spheres in science museums and then having your hair stand on end? Well, it’s kind of similar to one of those, except on a much larger scale. And this one happened to be installed in Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History’s Atom Smashers: Fifty Years exhibition back in 1977.

We received nearly 250 entries for the contest, with many entries riffing on the old chicken/egg debate and others referencing the television shows “My Favorite Martian” and “Mork and Mindy.” Our favorite, the Editor’s Pick selection for what we thought was the funniest and most clever:

“Here you are, Frank. Now you’re all set for the Digital Television Transition.“

A hearty Smithsonian thanks to David King for submitting the entry.

What do you think was the best entry? Vote now, or forever hold your peace.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

UPDATED 06.13.09: Comments have now been closed. Stay tuned for an announcement of the winner of the caption contest.

It’s that time of the month again – time for the ATM caption-writing contest! You should know the deal by now, kids. We provide you a historical photograph ripe for the mocking from our deep, dark Smithsonian vaults, and you, our beloved readers, provide the witty captions to describe what might be going on in the picture. Easy as pie, right?

We’ll even give you a few to get the party started:

“It’s MY clubhouse and YOU can’t come in!”

“Well, if we can’t drill off the coast of Alaska, why not drill on the moon?”

“Now that I’ve finished papering your spaceship, Mr. Johnson, would you like to discuss your laminate flooring options?”

Think you can do better and make milk shoot out of our collective noses? Let’s hear from you! Just make sure you submit your entry by Friday, June 12. We’ll be revealing the winning caption (along with the true story behind the photograph) that afternoon. And what does the victorious effort receive? A hearty virtual handshake from the Smithsonian, of course!

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

The votes have been counted and the winner is:

“He couldn’t hide all the skeletons in his closet.”

Thank you T. Faundo for submitting the top entry.

Besides our admiration, the winner receives a free subscription to Smithsonian.com. Log on anytime, along with all the rest of you.

Think the closets in the photo makes the winning caption just so-so? Vote for your favorite entry below:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

In case you were curious, the man in the photo is T. Dale Stewart. He was captured on October 3, 1950, attending to his day to day duties as a physical anthropology curator at the National Museum of Natural History.

Stewart was a familiar face at the Smithsonian Institution from 1924 until his death at 96-years-old in 1997. According to his obituary in the New York Times, in 1960, Stewart “reported that evidence had been found that early modern man had lived side by side with Neanderthals in the Middle East.” A point that has not been solidly proven, but is generally accepted in the scientific community.

The cabinets in the photograph still remain in the Smithsonian, containing thousands of skeletons collected by Stewart and his successors.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

Can you think of a witty caption for the above photograph? As the contest comes to a close, we’ve already received some entertaining submissions, like….

“Nope, this one’s not Walt Disney, either,” by Jim.

and

“In his excitement at finding Curley’s shrunken head, he did not notice he had become surrounded by Larry and Moe,” by RPi.

You have until Wednesday evening, April 15, to submit your entries. The winner will be announced (along with the true story behind the photograph) on Friday morning. There is no prize, but how many times can you say you’ve won a caption contest.

Image courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

Up for some good, clean April Fool’s Day fun? Play a prank on the above photograph, pulled from the Smithsonian Archives and the Institution’s historical past, by conjuring a caption of utmost wit and hilarity. What do you think is going on here? Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling:

“Thrilled with their newly-installed footlights, the librarians’ amateur Shakespeare theater troupe kicked off the season with unprecedented flair.”

“Alas, poor Yorrick…”

“With everyone gone for the night, Jim the file clerk vicariously lived out his pipe dream of being the next Sir Lawrence Olivier.”

Okay, so all I’m coming up with is Shakespeare cracks. Flex your funny bone and enter your creative captions in the comments area below. You have until April 15 (Tax Day) to submit your ideas. The winner will be announced (along with the true story behind the photograph) that afternoon. For a prize, the winner will receive bragging rights and an elevated sense of self-appreciation. We look forward to hearing from you!

Okay, so we’re a little late in announcing the winner of our caption writing contest. (Sorry! Even we get a little sidetracked from time to time.) To refresh our heads, here is the photo:

The subject of our second caption writing contest

And here is the winning caption: “After the success of the Horse, the Greeks decided to try the Trojan Hippo,” by Christine. Congratulations Christine! You have won water cooler bragging rights!

So, what is really going on in this picture?

Old Mom was a 5,000 pound hippo who lived at the National Zoo and departed this world on February 4, 1930. Taxidermist William L. Brown (above, far right) had been observing and sketching Old Mom for a period of twenty years before he was faced with the daunting task of tanning and preparing a hippo for museum exhibition. Old Mom went on display in 1934 and this buxom beauty can still be seen at the Natural History Museum—not to mention the January 2003 issue of Smithsonian.

What did you think of our contestants for this caption writing contest? Here are our top four picks. Vote for which one you think should have nabbed the top spot.

Courtesy of Smithsonian Archives

I look at this photograph and I immediately start reminiscing about many a fun-filled afternoon playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, bopping the backsides of plastic technicolor hippopotami in an attempt to eat more white plastic marbles than my opponents. I can totally see the guy on the left going, “Hey, what’re all these marbles doing in here?”

Or can’t you just imagine these guys standing around—perhaps a little sloshed—singing, “Oh I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do!”

Or, “Didn’t I see you in Fantasia?”

But there again, my ideas may be coming from FAR left field.

What words come to mind when you see this image? Create captions of your very own in the comments area below to enter in our second caption writing contest. Our first was a wild success.

Be creative! You have until noon on Wednesday, March 4 to send in your ideas.

The winner—and the original caption information for the image—will be announced here on the blog later that afternoon.

National Parks Service employee James Hudson swabs at the ear of the statue at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. -- but surely you can come up with a better caption? -- Bettmann / Corbis

We loved your responses. Very funny. A couple of your captions made us laugh out loud. And in a couple cases, we liked it a lot, but it just wasn’t enough.

So if we may suggest, give yourselves all a pat on the back. And get yourselves to the bookstore to buy your own copy of Smithsonian‘s collector’s edition Lincoln magazine. The winner gets a free copy. Keep an eye out for future caption contests in the coming weeks.

The runners up are. Drum roll please.

1. This was not on my federally mandated performance plan. Neither was cleaning his nose. — Stephanie

2. Can you hear me NOW!! — winekey

3. How much is this going to cost me? I only have a penny. — Stacey Guidry

And the winner is:

They named a WHAT after me!? And you say it seats six?

Way to go to Dave Youel. Let’s just hope the Lincoln Town Car doesn’t go the way of the dinosaur in this economy.

Which was your favorite?

National Parks Service employee James Hudson swabs at the ear of the statue at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. -- but surely you can come up with a better caption? -- Bettmann / Corbis

UPDATE: A winner has been announced; the caption contest is closed, but thanks for entering!

Maybe we’re getting a little punch drunk on Lincoln around here. But here in the magazine offices, after completing work on our Special Lincoln issue, which is on news stands now, we’ve been celebrating Lincoln’s Birthday ever since we starting planning the issue last January.

So by now we’ve parsed every phrase the man ever said and read every biography on the guy. But when we saw this picture recently, even though it is a 20-year-old photo—we just knew this called for a CAPTION-WRITING CONTEST!

So on the occasion of Lincoln’s actual birthday celebration tomorrow, we want our readers poised and at the ready to rain upon us some hilarity.

We’ll pick a winner early next week and send that clever wordsmith, whomever he or she may be, a genuine copy (nothing digital, it will come in the mail) of our special Lincoln issue.

Just to get you going. Here’s a few we came up with:

“Four score and seven years ago, I could do this on my own.”

The cause for which he gave his last full measure of patience.

With malice toward none, . . .except for this guy, who won’t let me be.

“Four score and behind the ears please.”

“Do you know where that’s been?”

“I’m all ears.”

Waxing nostalgic?

“Four score and seven ears ago”