November 16, 2011
Because You Never Know Where the Night Will Take You
At first, I thought that Miss O’Connor was talking about a naked woman found on the side of the road, but then I remembered my mom’s warnings about the importance of clean underwear in the event of a car accident.
But why? Do clean underpants really matter when you’ve been thrown through the windshield or you’re pinned under the soon-to-explode engine? I pondered this more than is probably healthy, and have narrowed it down to two possible explanations:
1: The Judgmental Triage Myth
Perhaps there was some sort of urban legend about paramedics taking care of the person with the nicest underthings first. Thus good, clean drawers could really be the difference between life and death. Also, I’m sure that news would spread quickly though town if you were found wearing icky (or even worse, nonexistent) underthings, and then you would most certainly die of embarrassment.
2: Modesty at All Times
Maybe this warning was issued because proper, devout Catholic ladies like my mom and O’Connor were just very concerned with being modest and dignified in all situations, even (especially?) in situations where one might just happen to be unconscious and bleeding from the head.
Either way: Be careful out there.
(C) Jessica Hagy, 2011
3 Comments »
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Exactly how clean is clean? Less than 5 days?
Comment by Yacko — November 16, 2011 @ 10:18 pm
Anyone of a certain age and from the American South, especially a city like Savannah, understands Ms. O’Connor’s joke. For both men and women of a particular social class in the old Southern culture, customs concerning clothing and getting dressed were complex and very specific. Colors, materials and accessories all came along with a rigorous set of rules. (Gloves without a hat) OK, (Hat without gloves) NEVER EVER. (No linen, white or pastels after Labor Day or Before Easter) (Suede and kidskin only during the Winter)–even in the most exteme circumstance like lying dead on the side of a highway. Hilarious.
Comment by Jeffrey — December 21, 2011 @ 2:05 pm
I hadn’t fully appreciated the comment about clean underwear (or, equally important, not being so old they really should be thrown out) until I was in an accident – not so serious that I was oblivious to my surroundings, but serious enough they were talking of cutting off my clothes. While I’m sure the doctors, nurses etc really didn’t pay any attention to what I was wearing, my ordeal was a bit more bearable knowing my underwear wouldn’t embarrass me (even though I was bare ass’d.)
Comment by Lee — January 1, 2012 @ 9:00 pm